In Extremis
by Mae Stark
Summary: Tony is dying, and it's up to Pepper to make a decision that will change both their lives forever... If he lives.  Based on the Extremis story arc from the comics, but set in movieverse after Iron Man 2, Pepperony
1. Chapter 1

So here it is, the first chapter of my most favorite fic I've ever written. Enjoy!

I don't own anything. But I DO have a necklace that looks just like a miniature arc reactor. Yes, I am that cool.

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Chapter 1

The impact throws him backwards several hundred feet, and he hits the ground hard. He lies there a few seconds, feeling the whirring of the suit's strong joints grow still, and then opens his eyes. The explosion has knocked out his HUD, and the connection to Jarvis has been broken too. Tony, struggling to move under the now-heavy weight of the suit, weakly gets to his feet and removes his helmet. The street is layered with burning debris, but seems otherwise unharmed by the blast. _Great, _he thinks feebly. _That means I absorbed almost all of the damage. _He certainly feels like he has absorbed all of the damage. He can barely stand, he is so exhausted. His head reels and makes it hard to see straight. Tony can tell that the suit is completely ruined, and through the gaping holes gouged all the way through the metal to his bare skin, he can see he is slightly burned where his skin is exposed. He has a deep, ragged cut across his chest where Mallen had hit him before, and now Tony can see that he is going to bleed out, and fast.

He looks up the street and sees Pepper getting up from where he had pushed her down. Hopefully he hadn't hit her too hard. Sometimes it is hard to control the strength the suit gives him. He begins to move towards her, his legs weak and stumbling, the heavy metal of the suit clanking against the concrete as he struggles to lift his feet in the absence of his suit's power. His genius mind seems to be working in slow motion as he watches Pepper run towards him with a look of horror on her face.

After a few steps, his vision begins to darken, and the world sways. The severely damaged suit suddenly feels too heavy, and he falls to his knees. Tony feels strange, lightheaded, like he can't get enough air. He tries to breathe, but it seems like his suit is too tight. He glances down at the arc reactor and sees that its light is flickering, reflecting the feeble beating of his heart. And then he knows he is dying.

_So this is what it feels like,_ he thinks. He almost wants to laugh. Here he had been trying for so long to stay alive, having so many close calls, and he was going to die like this. It is almost humorous.

If he is going to die, at least he will die saving something he loved. Thinking of Pepper, he tries to smile. It seems that he is always protecting her. She has reached him where he has fallen on the pavement and he can feel her holding him now, but he can't see anything. He faintly hears her crying, calling his name. He wishes he could open his eyes just a little, to see her beautiful blue eyes one last time, but the heavy feeling is overwhelming. He gives in to it, knowing that there is no way to win. He feels himself sink further into the darkness.

"Tony," he dimly hears Pepper call to him, "Hold on! Hold on!" Then she runs, leaving him lying there on the rough asphalt. When Pepper returns to his side, he hears the snap of a briefcase being opened, and then the soft clinking of glass. Pepper's skilled hands reach across him, finding the hidden groove in Tony's armor, one that only she and Tony himself know about, and she runs a finger across it. Immediately the armor retracts, folding away from Tony's body, revealing the seriousness of his injuries.

Pepper hesitates upon seeing the extensive damage. She stifles a sob, fighting back the hysteria that threatens to consume her. She gets a hold on herself and continues, working nimble fingers to attempt the one thing that can save Tony's life. Pepper knows the risks, but at least trying this is better than nothing.

In his dull state, Tony's intelligent mind is unable to comprehend her actions, but he definitely feels it when Pepper jams the needle into his chest, right above the arc reactor. The contents of the syringe empties into his bloodstream like ice. The freezing feeling makes Tony's chest feel like it is being constricted even further, and he gasps for air. He shudders involuntarily. His body is caught off guard by the sudden change, and the heavy feeling recedes enough for him to open his eyes.

The first thing he sees is her. Tears course down her fair face, but when he opens his eyes, she forces a sad smile. "Pepper?" Tony manages to breathe.

"Tony," she whispers, "I'm sorry. It was the only way."

Tony's eyes narrow in confusion and he tries to say something more, but is racked once again by the cold, agonizing spasms. After a few seconds, the shuddering stops again, and Tony can see what the briefcase contains.

"Tony," Pepper sobs his name again. "The Extremis. I had to do it."

Then he understands. Pepper saw that the only way to possibly save his life was to inject him with the Extremis. The virus is unfinished, undeveloped, and definitely not ready for testing. It could kill the recipient, and the chances of it working are slim. Even though Tony knows he is too weak to survive the transformation the Extremis would cause, he is glad Pepper is with him. Tony knows she realizes he isn't going to live, but she won't give up on him. She never has. But he always lets her down. And this will be the last time he will ever let her down.

He smiles back at her, and nods weakly in understanding before he is taken by another painful fit of spasms. He tries to focus on her face, but all he can feel is the iciness seeping through his bloodstream and into his bones. The feeling is unbearable. His breathing becomes even more irregular, getting worse to the point where he can barely get enough air. The little air he can get tastes foul, like something electric was on fire. He can feel his heart stutter, barely functioning, and the light from the arc reactor in his chest grows dimmer. Tony's eyes close against his will, and the heaviness again threatens to smother him. He can feel Pepper there, holding his hand, trying to comfort him. He is glad she is there. He feels a strange sensation, like someone is lightly running their fingers across his skin, except the feeling is everywhere, covering his entire body. He knows it isn't Pepper, and wonders what it could be, but he is unable to form a coherent theory. Shivering from the coldness inside his bones, Tony finally succumbs to the heavy feeling, and feels his consciousness slipping away.

The last thing he hears is her sweet voice, calling out to him in awe. "Tony," she says. Her voice catches a little in her throat. "It's beautiful."

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So, for those of you who have read this fic before, I apologize for re-posting it. It's just that this is my favorite fic that I've written and I thought it would get more views if I posted it in smaller chapters.

Please, let me know what you thought!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2! This one's a bit shorter, and it's in Pepper's POV. Enjoy!

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Chapter 2

Pepper Potts makes it a point of honor not to cry in front of anyone. Ever. But there is something about Tony that changes her, makes her react in ways she doesn't understand and can't control. So of course she cried when she had heard he had gone missing in Afghanistan. Of course she had cried when he made it home. And she definitely cries while he lays lifeless in a hospital bed, lying there because of something she had done to him. The golden layer that first enshrouded him when she injected him with the Extremis remains there, still covering his skin. She likes to run her fingers across it, feeling the rough texture of it under her fingers. She wonders what its purpose is. If Tony were awake, he would know. He would have the answer. He always does.

Despite the fact that Extremis succeeded in healing Tony's mortal injuries, he is still brain-dead. The scientists think that the technological virus overloaded his brain. The doctors say there is nothing that can be done for him, that he will probably never come out of the coma. They say she should let him go, that there is no hope left.

Does Pepper leave? No. Of course not. This is her Tony, and although she knows deep down inside that she will probably never hear his strong voice or see his dark brown eyes ever again, she can't bring herself to leave him.

5 weeks of emotional and physical stress have taken their toll on Pepper. Dark, worried circles have formed under her eyes. Her voice is constantly rough, her eyes always red and bloodshot from crying. All in all, she looks as if she has aged 10 years in just over a month. Rhodey worries about her, even more than he worries about Tony. He used to come to see Tony every day, but now his visits are more and more infrequent. But Pepper never leaves.

So when Tony finally awakes, he is not alone. She is there, sleeping by his bedside, as she always does. She has the armchair pulled close to his bedside, and her head lays on the bed next to him, her arms under her head, and one hand reaches out to rest gently on the glowing arc reactor in his chest. So, naturally, she hears him groan, feels him shift as he wakes up. She sits up, bewildered, but her head is clear. She watches as he opens his deep brown eyes and returns to her.

Now under his control, the golden under-armor seems to melt away, disappearing underneath his skin, as natural as can be. Pepper and Tony watch in fascination until the last of it has slipped away, leaving Tony's skin exposed, vulnerable. He looks up into her face, and she is sure that his stunned expression matches hers completely.

"Pepper? What's going on?" he whispers, an adorable look of confusion sweeping across his face. Pepper says nothing, but takes one of his hands in one of hers, leaving her other one where it sits on his chest. She realizes that she can't answer his question, because she has no idea what's happening to him or if he's going to be okay of what they should do next, and it's all her fault. She begins to cry.

He smiles, lifting a hand to push her soft red hair out of her face. "Miss me?" The confusion is replaced by his usual arrogant self-assurance, and Pepper feels like everything is going to be okay.

But then his eyes lose focus and it seems like he is looking past her, and he grows unnaturally still. "Tony," Pepper panics, calls his name. "Tony!"

After a few agonizing seconds, he answers her. "Pepper," Tony says breathlessly. He still doesn't see her. "Why can I see all of this, in my head?"


	3. Chapter 3

Here's the next chapter. Good news! I have finally found an ending to this fic! It's currently in the research stage, and I'll be writing it soon. But don't worry, there's still lots of this fic to come! :)

I don't own Iron Man. This makes me sad. :(

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Chapter 3

"Are you ever going to get any work done?"

Tony jumps. He had been so absorbed, he hadn't even heard Pepper enter, hadn't even felt the Extremis prod at his mind as she used the keypad to let herself in. "Who says I'm not getting any work done?" He replies. Pepper rests her hands on her hips at this, raises her eyebrows in a way that makes his heart rate pick up instantly. "I've been getting a lot of work done, actually. Isn't that right, Jarvis, dear?"

"Yes, sir," comes the dry, metallic-sounding reply. Tony can feel the machine working, the endless codes articulating everything the A.I. is processing. He closes his eyes, and allows himself to become part of it. Immediately, he feels Jarvis's presence shift uncomfortably in his head, and so he withdraws, opens his eyes. _Sorry, _Tony thinks, and he knows Jarvis can hear him.

_It's quite all right, sir. _He replies, connecting to the Extremis in Tony's head to respond. _I can understand your fascination with me. After all, I am quite a beautiful piece of machinery. _Tony laughs at this, causing Pepper to look at him like he is crazy. Sometimes he forgets that not everyone can link their minds with any piece of technology.

Jarvis continues, speaking aloud this time: "And may I say, sir, you seem to have accomplished more in the past three hours that you have in the past year."

Pepper turns to Tony in disbelief. "What did you do? Did you mess with Jarvis's software again?" It seems like she wants a serious answer, but all Tony does is laugh. She turns away from him, mildly annoyed, but not angry. She does a quick once-over of his desk. "And where's your phone? Did you lose another one?" She scowls.

He shakes his head.

"No? Well then, where is it?"

He still says nothing, simply taps a nimble finger to the side of his head. "Built in, now."

Pepper's eyes widen. In surprise or disbelief or concern, Tony isn't sure. But she quickly reins herself back in, and relaxes into a sarcastic expression. "Well, at least now you have no excuse not to answer my phone calls."

He groans in mock exasperation. He grins slyly at her, and when she returns the smile, he darts forward to kiss her lightly. She giggles and knots her hands in his hair, pulls him close for a hug. He can smell the sweet fragrance of her hair and for a moment, he is happy. But, in the back of his head, he can feel the Extremis and its overwhelming amount of data pulling at his attention. It is too strong for him to fight.

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Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. And if you haven't, please do! Your reviews motivate me. Seriously.


	4. Chapter 4

Here's a short one for you guys. Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I've got a ton of stuff to do and I'm in the middle of a ton of different fics. But my Muse is fully cooperating, so I should have some more up soon.

And sorry this one is a little short.

I want that Iron Man Operation board game! thatperson knows what I'm talking about. So cool...

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Chapter 4

Pepper can tell that Tony's mind is always wandering. He tries to hide it, but she can see right through his pretenses. She worries about him, worries because it's out of her control, and she can't stand that. Maybe that's why Tony aggravates her so much sometimes: because she can't control him.

Some nights, while Tony sleeps beside her, Pepper lies awake. The glow of the arc reactor casts a blue light across the entire room. The brightness used to bother her, but it's so much a part of him that now she can't sleep without the illumination. The arc reactor fascinates her. She likes to run her fingers across it, feeling the cold metal, listening to the faint hum that reassures her that Tony is alive. It's much more than a power source; the arc reactor symbolizes Tony's life. Without it, the shrapnel would be able to reach his heart and he would die in a matter of minutes.

This bothers her too. It seems like it would be all too easy for an enemy to destroy it or take it out, leaving him vulnerable, just as Obadiah did. Pepper hates to think of Tony as being vulnerable. And she is sure he hates it, too.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys. Sorry I haven't updated in FOREVER, I've just been really busy. Thanks for bearing with me!

As usual, I don't own Iron Man. However, I was recently given an Iron Man plushie, thanks to one of my sister's friends, who has somehow heard that I absolutely love Iron Man. This is true.

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Chapter 5

He understands why Pepper did it, why she injected him with the Extremis: she loves him, and couldn't bear to lose him. She claims that it was because the world is still in need of his brilliant mind, but he sees right through that excuse. She was selfish in saving him, but he is definitely not one to judge her for her being selfish.

That isn't to say he is upset that she did it. Quite the contrary, actually. But using the Extremis so soon was not something he would have considered. Yes, he would have injected himself with it eventually, but this was way too soon. The Extremis easily could have killed him.

However, Tony isn't one to question why things like this happen. Sure enough, if he would have wanted to know where ultrahigh-energy particles come from or how the heavy elements from iron to uranium were made, that would be one thing. But, all he knows is that the Extremis did heal him as it was supposed to, leaving him with a healing factor that rivals Wolverine's, and also gave him the remarkable ability to directly link his mind with other technology. He isn't going to go prodding around for answers just yet.

Having a constant connection to technology sounds cool, but it really messes with your head. Any normal person would have had their brain overloaded with the constant supply of data. But he is Tony Stark; if he can't handle it, no one can. He welcomes the steady stream of data. It makes things interesting and more convenient. With the entire expanse of technological ability available to him in his mind, the possibilities are endless. And now, all of this comes as naturally as breathing to Tony.

Of all his new abilities, his favorite is his aptitude to send out signals that allow him to communicate and easily control technology. Including his suit.

He likes this. He used to feel that without the suit, he had no power, nothing to protect him. Now he can call the suit with a simple thought. Now he will never be vulnerable. Now Iron Man is truly a part of him.


	6. Chapter 6

Here's another one.

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Chapter 6

Pepper wakes to find herself still sitting in a desk chair. She has been staring at the computer screen for hours, sorting documents and emails and god knows what else for Tony. She glances at the clock to see that it is two in the morning. Sighing, she raises herself from the chair, gracefully strides across the room to the stairwell that leads to Tony's workshop in the basement. She takes the steps two at a time, and lets herself in at the glass door. Tony is there, still awake, still working. The new suit lies in pieces across several work tables, and he is poring over it with extraordinary concentration. She closes the short distance between them and comes up behind him, lays her arms across his broad, strong shoulders. He doesn't look up from his work, but absent-mindedly lifts a hand to rest it on one of her arms. He isn't moving, just stares down at the suit, and she can tell that he is seeing something she isn't, that behind his eyes he is calculating, formulating, seeing. She sighs again.

"Tony, come to bed. It's late."

He still says nothing, and she lowers her head to slowly kiss his neck. He shudders, but remains still, and so Pepper grabs his face roughly and turns him to face her. This seems to break him out of his reverie, and he finally sees her. He smiles morosely. "Sorry." He says.

" It's getting worse."

"I know. But it's just hard to ignore all of it, you know?"

Pepper is concerned for Tony, but she doesn't say anything more. Instead, she reaches her arms up around his neck and grabs a fistful of his dark hair, pulling him close. He responds to this and wraps his arms around her, one hand coming to rest on the small of her back. His expression is unreadable as she pulls him in for a deep kiss. His lips are soft and yielding to her, and she loses herself in him, his scent, his feel, his taste. But then she feels him become frozen and unresponsive, and she pulls away slightly, opens her eyes but remains close to him. He is there, frozen, his eyes looking at her yet not seeing her. A pang of sadness rises within her until she shoves it back down, and she gently bites her lower lip. She feels guilty. She was the one that injected him with Extremis. She did this to him. How could she get mad at him for something she did to him?

"Oh, Tony," she sighs. She pulls his face back to hers with more force, and he blinks, stunned, and his eyes come back into focus. He returns the kiss for a few seconds, then pulls away, extricating himself from her arms to fall into the nearest chair. Tony rubs his temples for a few seconds, attempting to lessen his pounding headache. Then he leans forward, rests his elbows on his knees, and buries his face in his hands.

When he speaks, his voice is surprisingly clear. "It's getting worse." He repeats her exact words, and Pepper wishes she could comfort him, could understand what he was going through. But she doesn't understand, and so she says nothing.

And it doesn't stop getting worse.

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If you have time, please review, even if you don't know what to say. There is nothing writers love more than reviews.


	7. Chapter 7

I know it has been forever since I've posted anything, and I apologize for that. RL has been super-crazy. I'll be out of town for a week or so, but when I return, I will post some more on a couple fics.

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Chapter 7

Tony steps out onto the roof of his house, observing the way the moonlight hits his bare skin. He looks up at the moon, and the Extremis in his head can't help but instantaneously calculate the distance between himself and it, the amount of time is takes for the light to reach him, how much power it would take to reach it. Frustrated, he forces the Extremis away, clearing his mind, but not before he calls up the armor. He feels the familiar sensation of the golden under-armor seeping through his skin, covering every inch of him. He wills the transformation further, feels the armor plates surge out of where they are stored inside his bones, and he and the armor are one. He runs, compelling his strong, armored legs to carry him faster, faster, until he is jumping out into the dark night sky.

He lets himself fall for a second, savoring the velvet feel of the cool wind against the armor, his second skin, then activates the jet boots and propulsors, and he is flying.

Tony is beginning to think that Extremis is controlling him, instead of him controlling Extremis. If that's true, then he knows that the only time he can fight against it, overcome its command, is when he is flying. The feeling of soaring through the skies, unimpeded, is a feeling he always has loved. It's his new need: better than girls or cars or alcohol. Flying through the skies in the suit he made, the suit that is the epitome of his life's work, the epitome of himself, sparks something in him that is hard for him to feel anymore.

He knows that the Extremis will end up overloading his brain, and probably soon. The human brain simply isn't made to handle the invariable flow of information that the Extremis involves. Even Tony's exceptional mind is no match for it. He sees that the only way to fix that problem is to rewrite his brain to be able to handle the Extremis. That much is obvious. But he has no idea where to even start. He needs to find a solution, and he doesn't have much time.

The headaches are becoming progressively worse. No amount of aspirin will remedy the pounding in his overwhelmed head. And he hasn't told Pepper yet, but he has been experiencing memory loss. Just last week when he drove the Audi into the city for a board meeting, he arrived to find that he had no idea how or why he was there. And two nights ago, he had been working on the suit until he found himself upstairs in the kitchen, leaning heavily over the sink, his heart rate spiraling out of control. Because he can't remember. He always remembers everything, down to the smallest, most precise detail.

Even without knowing all this, Pepper is still worried about him. He can see it in her eyes that she is confused and guilty and concerned. He often wonders if she wishes she hadn't injected him with the Extremis, if she thinks it had been worth it. He never asks her, but her answer is clear; he can see it in the way she stays up late waiting for him to return from a mission, in the look she gives him when they are alone together.

He hasn't been in a serious relationship since he was at MIT. He had kind of forgotten what it was like, but now that he has Pepper, he can't see himself going back to his old polygamous ways. Being in Afghanistan changed him like that. He loves her.

She loves him. And she does think it was worth it.

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If you liked it, please review.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The loud crash resounds throughout the house, and Pepper immediately knows it is him. She finds him in the bathroom, collapsed on the floor. For a brief second, she relives her worst nightmare and flashes back to when she had last seen him like this, when he had been lying there, dying on the pavement. Except this time, his cure is killing him.

She thinks he is dead until she presses her long fingers to his neck and feels the pulse there and sees the steady, unfailing light of the arc reactor. His breathing is ragged, irregular, and she wonders for a minute how to do CPR with the arc reactor in the way. But then, he opens his eyes with a gasp and rolls onto his side, coughing and struggling for breath. "What… happened?" He pants after a few seconds.

She is still stunned. "Y-you passed out," she stutters. "Tony, what's going on?" He mumbles something in reply, but she can't make out the words. "What?"

He looks her straight in the eye, and she can see that he is afraid. "The Extremis is killing me." He says.

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She stands in front of him, hands characteristically on her hips, trying to be tough even though it's apparent that she is distraught. "Tony," she begins, "You have to – you have to solve this. You have to find a way, I know you can." Her voice breaks and her eyes well up. He doesn't like to see her like this. She is such a strong person that it's rare to see her in pieces, and this hurts him.

Then he knows that he will find a way to rewrite his brain to accommodate Extremis. If not for himself, then for her. Because he can't stand to see her like this.

Tony will find a solution. He may not know where to start or how to accomplish it, but he will find a way.

He always does.

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**This is the end of the first part. The second part is almost done, so I will begin posting it soon.**

**Please review! They keep me going.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Here's the next part. I'm sorry it's been so long since I've updated, I've just been so busy. And I know that's always my excuse, but it's true. Life never slows down.**

**The first half of this chapter is in Tony's POV, and the second is in Pepper's.**

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Chapter 9

He is flying, the wind rushing past him as he soars gracefully through the sky. Despite the fact that he is wearing the suit, Tony can actually feel the air. The suit functions as his second skin, allows him to use his senses, even while encased within it. It is natural, a part of him, just like an arm or a leg.

He picks up speed, veers to the left a little, and now he can see the house. The fully-functioning Extremis inside his brain calculates the distance to the concrete roof, how long it will take to reach it, the vector required in order to land safely. It barely takes any effort; it is easy as breathing to Tony. Tony delights in the complete feeling that results from the flow of data in his Extremis-enhanced mind. Data is his need, his sustenance. He could survive off of it.

He feels better than he has in months. The combination of the data and flying gives him a giddy, sort of high feeling. He laughs as he reaches the roof, lowers slowly to rest his feet onto the ground. Pepper is there, waiting for him, and she grins upon hearing the metallic laugh emanating from the suit. Tony moves toward her, metal clanking against the concrete. Calling on the armor, he wills his helmet to retract, revealing his vulnerable skin. Pepper steps closer, rests her hands on either side of his face. She smiles again, her beautiful face filled with love, compassion, hope. She leans forward, eyes focused on his lips, and then –

And then he wakes up. His constant headache returns, and he groans, rolls over to feel the bed beside him. Pepper is gone, probably at work already. She has been working a lot lately. She blames that on all of the controversies that have arisen in the press as a result of his ailment, but he knows that she doesn't want to be a distraction to him. And though she loves him, she can't stand to see him so weak and hopeless.

He wishes she were here, though. When Pepper is around, everything seems okay. She helps ease his overwhelmed mind. Sometimes, even without the Extremis, his brain moves at such a fast pace that he can't keep up with it. He has tried various things to help alleviate some of this: loud music, drinking, flying, but nothing helps more than Pepper. He truly would go crazy without her.

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Pepper cracks open the bedroom door, slowly, trying to be as quiet as possible. But Tony is still awake. "Pepper?" He calls. The light from the arc reactor fills the room with a blue glow.

She freezes. She thought he would have been asleep already. "Tony." She responds.

He sighs. "Pepper," he says, "I don't know what to do." She knows exactly what he is talking about, and it makes her sad.

She closes the door, gracefully makes her way over to the bed. She climbs across the bed to Tony's side, and leans over him. She looks directly into his eyes, presses a hand on the arc reactor to feel the faint vibrating as its power keeps him alive. He stares back, his deep brown eyes burning with intensity. This is what she loves the most about him: the clear passion in his eyes when he looks at her.

Then Pepper lowers her head until her lips are level with his, and kisses him. For a second, he kisses her back, but then he jerks away from her, gasping in pain. She pulls him into a hug, her hands and voice soothing as he fights the Extremis.

The episode is a short one, and in a few seconds, Tony's heart rate slows and his breathing returns to normal.

"Oh, Tony." Pepper's voice is hushed, flowing with emotion. She buries her face into his neck, silent tears seeping through his t-shirt.

She tries to be strong for him, but it's becoming hard to maintain.

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**I apologize for the boringness of this chapter. I promise the next one will be more interesting!**

**My only sustenance is reviews! Please feed me!**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Sir, I recommend that you allow me to complete a full diagnostic on your brain functions."

"Yeah, yeah. Give me a minute." Right now, he's busy making some upgrades to Rhodey's suit.

"Mr. Stark," comes Jarvis' calm reply, "I fear that you do not recognize the severity of your situation."

"I said, in a minute, Jarvis!" Tony shouts, then drops his screwdriver back onto the table with a yelp. In his anger, he has cut himself against the sharp metal edge of the suit's casing. Tony sits back in his chair, gritting his teeth against the stinging pain. The cut is clean but deep, and blood is already gushing out of the wound. He stares at it, waiting, expectant.

Tony watches as his flesh repairs itself, leaving only a small trail of blood behind as evidence of his injury. With his new healing factor, his body is able to repair and rebuild itself, regenerating tissue and restoring his body to its former state. He has the Extremis to thank for that.

Jarvis interrupts Tony's scrutiny of his now-fading cut. "Sir, if you have completed the adjustments to Colonel Rhodes' suit, I recommend that you allow me to run some scans to analyze your brain functions."

Tony sighs, but concedes. "All right then. Let's get this over with."

He considers using Extremis to run the scans, but he knows he can't do that, not with what happened last week in the bathroom. He can feel the familiar pull of the Extremis, screaming for his attention, but he knows he must resist it. If he doesn't fight it, he'll black out again, damaging his brain even further.

He has to fight it. He can't use the Extremis again, or else he risks losing himself.

"Looks like we're doing this the old-fashioned way, Jarv." Tony rises and steps onto the platform, standing still as Jarvis's metal arms work around him.

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In a few minutes, Jarvis has finished the scans, and what he finds is unsettling. "Sir, it seems that the nanocells of the Extremis have melded with the brain tissue of your frontal lobe. The electromagnetic waves the Extremis nanocells are emitting are overpowering your own brain waves. At the rate your condition is declining, a total loss of memory can be expected in about two months."

Tony rubs his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "Two months?" he whispers.

"It would appear so, Sir." There's a hint of sadness in his computerized voice and this tone evokes a pang of emotion deep within Tony. Leave it to him to create an AI with human emotions.

Tony doesn't have to ask Jarvis to realize what will happen in three months. In two months, he will lose everything: his memories, thoughts, his intelligence. Only his episodic memory has been affected so far, but soon the Extremis will completely overwhelm his mind and he'll either be killed or reduced to a permanently comatose state.

He sits there thinking for a while, head aching as his brain struggles to work past the Extremis.

When he looks up, an idea is forming in his mind. "Jarvis, what's the frequency of the nanocells?" Hope seeps into his tone.

"900 Mega Hertz, Sir."

"And my own brain waves?"

"You are currently emitting beta waves at a frequency of 42 Hertz."

Tony whistles. "That's quite a difference."

"Yes, it is, sir."

"Tell you what. Run a few more tests, then do a search for a couple different frequencies. I need 120 Hz and 110 Hz. My brain will lock onto the difference, altering my brainwaves by using the different frequencies." He pauses, turning to Dummy. "Hey, you, go find me some electrodes. You know, the sticky ones. I know we have some down here somewhere."

He's a mechanical engineer, not an electrical engineer, but he took enough classes at MIT to know what he's doing.

* * *

When Pepper steps into Tony's workshop, he's slumped on the couch, eyes closed, a myriad of wires and trailing from pads stuck to various parts of his head. It's not nearly the strangest thing she's seen him doing, but it definitely cannot be considered normal.

"Tony, what–? What are you doing?"

He mumbles a bit, a look of intense concentration on his face. "What?" Pepper asks again.

He opens his eyes and looks at her. "I'm using delta waves to attempt to synchronize my brain waves with the electromagnetic waves the Extremis is emitting." He says it as if it's the simplest thing in the world. She chuckles a bit, falling silent when Tony gives her a confused look.

"Will it work?" She questions cautiously.

Tony shrugs. "In theory, it should. And I'm feeling better right now. But it will probably only be a temporary fix. The frequencies of the waves will only be coordinated as long as I've got these hooked up to me." He gestures to the electrodes.

Pepper smiles, a fierce hope coursing through her body with comforting warmth. "Well, that's a start, isn't it?" She sits beside him on the couch, gently mussing his dark brown hair.

Tony sighs contentedly, a small, satisfied smile spreading across his face. "Yes," he says, "Yes, it is."

* * *

**This was a fun chapter to research. I find brain waves very interesting!**

**Reviews = Love**


	11. Chapter 11

Do I still need to tell you that I don't own Iron Man? Well. I don't.

* * *

Chapter 11

There's not much hope left, and Tony can feel bits and pieces of himself fading as the days slowly pass. Knowledge, Memories and feelings from the past are no longer there when he calls upon them, and it's scary. His incapacitating headaches and episodes of memory loss are testament to his failing mind. He wonders how long it will be before his brain is so overwhelmed that he loses everything and his memory is wiped clean. At this rate, he probably only has a couple weeks.

The electrode treatments are working, but only temporarily. As soon as he removes them, the Extremis resumes its attack on his mind.

He figures he might as well try his final option, since he's facing imminent death otherwise. If he implants the electrodes directly into his brain and creates a contained program within them to constantly emit the frequencies he needs, that should solve his problem. He's done the math and it makes sense, but thanks to the Extremis, his healing factor will probably reject whatever he tries to do.

Either way, he probably won't make it through this. The Extremis will fully overwhelm his brain and he won't be able to take it. But he tries not to think about it. Tony clings to the small shreds of hope he has.

* * *

"Tony," Pepper calls, her mouth set in a tight line. "Tony?" When Tony doesn't respond, she grabs his chin and pulls his face up to look at her. She can see the glossy look in his eyes, the near-permanent grimace fixed upon his face. She runs her hand up and down the length of his jaw, waiting for the fog to slowly fade from his eyes. When he finally sees her, he closes his eyes and grunts tiredly.

"Tony," Pepper begins again. "You need to get some help. Why don't you go to the hospital?"

He immediately opens his eyes and stares at her incredulously. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not exactly the average patient." He raises a hand to tap the arc reactor, flinching a bit at the pain the sudden movement brings.

"Then we'll be more secretive about it. Get a private room and a doctor that won't talk. We can make it work." She's hoping for a miracle, trying to get Tony to feel the same optimism she is tricking herself into feeling.

"No, Pepper, I'm better off here. Jarvis can do the same scans that the hospital can, anyway." He is quickly becoming irritated.

Pepper takes a step back from him, removing her hands from his face. Her tone rises, angry and aggravated. "Well, what you're doing obviously isn't working, Tony. Look at you. You need something permanent."

He raises his eyebrows. "You think I don't know that? Pepper, I've got to think about my healing factor. Anything I try to implant in my brain to fix it will most likely be rejected by my body as it tries to heal. There are other implications that you're not considering."

She shifts her weight to her other leg, resting her hands on her hips. "I'm not a doctor, and I'm not an engineer either, Tony, so I'm sorry if my brain isn't always on the same page as yours. I'm just telling you that it seems like you could use some help, instead of just moping around here."

Tony rises from his chair, gaping at her. "You think I'm not trying? You think I want to die, Pepper? I've spent the past 3 weeks stuck down here, trying to find a permanent cure! Nothing works! All I have is a quick remedy to temporarily block the pain, but that won't stop my memories or thoughts from disappearing. There's nothing left to do!" He's talking loudly now, and Pepper turns away, eyes wet with sudden tears. It's only when she speaks again that he realizes exactly how upset she is.

"Okay, Tony," Pepper says, her voice made quiet by the anguish and distress of his predicament. She's still not looking at him. "Okay." And then she walks quickly to the glass door, disappearing up the stairs, purposely avoiding his gaze the entire way.

He thinks about going after her, but it wouldn't do any good.

* * *

R&R, please!


	12. Chapter 12

Whew! It's been a while. Here's some more.

* * *

Chapter 12

Pepper has just finished making dinner when Jarvis calls up to her, urgency in his metallic voice. "Miss Potts, I believe that Mr. Stark requires your assistance."

"Okay," she says, "Tell him I'll be down in a second."

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, Miss Potts, but this cannot wait. Mr. Stark's vitals have drastically declined in the past few minutes and he is unresponsive to my attempts to verbally gain his attention."

Before Jarvis can even finish speaking, Pepper is already racing through the living room and down the stairs, hurrying to type her entrance code into the keypad. Her fingers feel heavy and numb, and it takes a few tries before the door finally swings open.

She finds Tony lying face down, slumped forward across his desk. When she feels for his pulse, it's faint, but present. "Tony?" Pepper nudges him gently, trying to remain calm while she watches Tony's skin grow paler and paler. "Tony, you need to get up."

He groans, face contorted in agony. "Pepper?" he whispers. He reaches out blindly until he finds Pepper's hand and squeezes it tight enough to make her skin tingle. She wants to break down and cry, to give in to the hopelessness that threatens to consume her. But instead, she looks away from the helpless man beside her and clears her head.

"Jarvis! Call the hospital and let them know we're on our way."

* * *

When Tony regains consciousness, he's no longer in his workshop at the mansion. It takes a few minutes to recognize the stark white walls, the stinging smell of disinfectant. He's hooked up to a dozen different beeping machines and there's a horde of nurses rushing around the room. He opens his eyes weakly, trying desperately to get more air into his lungs.

"Tony?" Pepper is there by his side. "Tony, can you hear me?" He nods. "They're getting ready to take you into the O.R. They're going to do the surgery, Tony. They're going to plant the electrodes directly into your brain, just like you planned. It's going to be okay." She looks like she's trying hard to believe what she's saying. There are tears in her eyes as she runs a hand through his hair.

He knows he probably won't make it through this, that his body, in its attempt to heal itself, will reject the electrode implants and the Extremis will completely overwhelm his mind. Through the thick fog in his head, Tony realizes that this could be it.

"Pepper," he whispers, gesturing with a trembling hand to his coat across the room. Pepper retrieves it and returns to his side. "In the inside pocket." She reaches in and pulls out a small blue velvet box. She opens it slowly, gaping at the simple yet elegant diamond ring within it. Tony smiles as realization fills Pepper's face.

"Tony, what– ?"

"Virginia Potts," he says, "Will you marry me?"

She stares at him for a few seconds, eyes wide, before she answers. "Yes, Tony," she says, the tears welling up and spilling over her eyelids. "Yes." She smiles at him as he shakily slides the ring onto her finger.

As he pulls her down into a quick and sloppy kiss, he knows he did the right thing. When he's gone, Pepper will be there to take care of the company and his estate, and to carry on his legacy. There's no one else he trusts so completely.

And, to be honest, he's been planning to ask her before all this, ever since the day he had been reborn with the Extremis. Tony's a bit of a romantic, and he had been waiting for the perfect time to ask. But sometimes life doesn't give you the time you expected.

"Mr. Stark," says one of the nurses, "We're ready for you now." They start to roll him out the door and into the hallway.

"I love you," Pepper says, giving his hand one last squeeze.

He flashes that goofy, overconfident grin of his. "I love you, too." And the nurses roll him away, toward the operating room and his supposed cure.

Pepper stares after him down the hallway, and Tony closes his eyes. He wants her to be the last thing he sees before he meets the oncoming darkness.

* * *

Only one chapter, maybe two left. I still can't believe I've almost finished this.


	13. Chapter 13

I was just going back over some old fic I wrote when I realized that I still have not finished it, and that I have left more than a few people hanging here. I apologize, I just have not been inspired to write.

This is the last official chapter, but I may do an epilogue. Keep your eyes out.

In case the epilogue does not get posted, I would like to thank everyone who stuck with this fic. It is still my first, favorite, and longest piece I've written, and I hope you have gotten as much out of it from reading it as I have from writing it.

* * *

Chapter 13

Pepper can't shake the odd feeling of déjà vu, sitting here in the very same seat she had been in only months ago. She sighs shakily, running her hands through her hair in an attempt to smooth her elegant bun back into place.

The past few hours have been spent staring at the door to the operating room, waiting for anything, anyone to let her know that Tony is going to be all right. She rubs her swollen eyes tiredly and glances at the ring on her left hand, thinking about what it stands for. It's Tony's love, his commitment to her, to their future. But when this is all said and done, will there be a future left?

She tries not to think about it, but it's hard not to when it's staring her in the face. The despair she feels is enough to force her to her knees on the rough carpet, and she stifles a sob. Her life is so intertwined with Tony's that it would be impossible to live without him.

She sinks into the cold plastic chair of the waiting room and rests her head in her hands, trying to calm herself. After a few minutes of breathing deeply and trying to slow her racing heartbeat, Pepper feels her eyelids beginning to droop, and she allows herself to fall under the calm and oblivious blanket of sleep.

She wakes to the feeling of a warm hand on her shoulder. "Ms. Potts? Ms. Potts, Mr. Stark is out of surgery now." Pepper looks up to see one of the older nurses standing in front of her.

"Did it work? Is he okay?" Pepper sits up and pulls her shoulders back, her mind immediately clearing.

"He says he's feeling better, no headaches or extensive brain damage, so I would say it did work. He just woke up. He's still a little groggy, but he was awake enough to try and hit on the anesthesiologist." Pepper chuckles and the nurse smiles kindly at her. "He was asking for you."

* * *

When Pepper enters the recovery room, Tony is lying in his hospital bed, bald-headed, but looking otherwise undamaged. His eyes are barely open, a look of pure exhaustion in them, but he becomes alert when he sees Pepper cross the room to his bedside.

"Pepper?" Tony says, voice low and gravelly.  
"Yes, Tony, I'm here." She sits at his side and gently takes his hand.

"They had to shave my head." He says, and Pepper laughs.

"It'll grow back. And besides, you still look as handsome as ever."

Tony smiles. "I know," he says, "I'm rocking the Professor X look, aren't I?"

Pepper grins back and squeezes his hand lightly. "Yes. Yes, you are."

Tony sighs contentedly and closes his eyes, a look of pure exultation on his face. When he speaks, his voice is so soft that Pepper must lean in in order to hear him. "My god, Pepper," he says. "I wish you could see it. It's all so beautiful, all of it. And I can really feel it now, all the connections and colors of the information and machines. I wish I could show it to you."

Pepper reaches over and rests her hand on his cheek, rubbing her thumb back and forth soothingly. "And it doesn't hurt anymore?" she asks.

"No, not at all. The electrodes are doing their job, and my healing factor seems to have accepted them completely." He sighs again and opens his eyes slowly, looking at her as if he is seeing her for the first time. His hand finds the engagement ring on her petite finger. "I meant it, you know," he says, "when I asked you to marry me."

"I know you did."

"So it's still a yes, then?" Tony asks quietly, a look of panic flashing behind his eyes, afraid she might take back her answer.

Pepper laughs. "Of course it's still a yes, Tony. It's _you_."


End file.
